Stephan

I don’t have the right words for this….I don’t know what words to use to convey to my friend whose son died this week.

I think of my friend. Undoubtedly she is looking at old pictures, remembering, remembering,  yet knowing he won’t be coming back.

I’ve heard these stories time and time again and always wondered how families and parents survived. Maybe they haven’t….and I don’t think this one will either. Stephan is gone. Any of us would give anything to not make this so. Yes, it happens every day, but when it’s your best friend, you feel utterly helpless. I want to be there to cure her pain but I know that it’s impossible to do that.

I have to accept that my friend will never be the same. My heart breaks for her.  Her pain is something I cannot touch. Her pain is something I would give anything to take away. Her pain, and that of her family is something that no one can comprehend unless they’ve been there. I don’t think that even hoping that he “rests in peace” can cure their broken hearts.

She cries and so does her daughter, their world has been torn apart. Just like that.

Summer Has Arrived at Westwind

I LOVE summer!  Friends, Flowers and lots of bbq – that’s the plan for this summer.  For the first time I am growing tomatoes, so far they are doing really well.  Kingston loves sitting outside, we spend most of our evenings now on the terrace reading and listening to music.  Enjoy your summer!

 

Kingston on the terrace

East side walkway

walkways

Terrace

Tomatoes!

Peonies

Passion Flowers

The lambs

Looking East

Doors Open – get the camera!

So next weekend I’m heading out for the Doors Open Toronto event.  This is the oldest Doors Open Day event in North America and Toronto has been hosting it since 2000.  I’m going with my girlfriend who is a fabulous photographer and a number of the locations will have photography exhibitions so it should be a great weekend.  This year there will be over 150 buildings to choose from – many of the city’s unique and historically significant buildings will be open to the public.  And yes, there are even a couple of Buddhist temples open!

The launch is on Friday night at the Royal Ontario Museum which will give us an opportunity to see the latest exhibits.  Some of my favorite not to be missed spots are:

Why Buddhism?

My friend and I stayed up late tonight talking.  She asked me what’s the deal about study Buddhism?  Why now?  And why am I so calm and happy?  Will I be shaving my head and joining a monastery?  I admit I did have to laugh a bit, there are a lot of challenges going on in my life right now — however I find dealing with those challenges are much easier.  I remember meeting a group of Buddhists and thinking wow they are happy!  They have a sense of humour, are witty and have a glow of serenity.  I have seen this in people who are committed 12 steppers and who are well along in their individual journey of recovery.

I am a relative newcomer to Buddhism, I’ll become an “official” Buddhist soon when I take Refuge (the precepts), although I have been practicing intermittently for the last two or three years.  When I was growing up, I spent a good deal of my time reading about the occult, witchcraft and magic. I always harboured the dream that someday I would be initiated into a coven of Witches.  Over the years I have “shopped around” various religions and philosophies – always seeking, always asking questions, always seeking serenity but never quite getting it. 

Buddhism in Niagara Falls??!!!

I’m heading out to Niagara Falls but the waterfall is NOT my reason for going.

The first place I will be heading to is the Ten Thousand Buddhas Sarira Stupa on River Road, just by the Whirlpool Bridge in Niagara Falls.   Within the first floor there is a seven ton statue of Buddha made of green bronze and on the other 6 floors there are a total of 9,999 mini Buddhas.  The stupa houses sacred relics, a library, Buddhist artifacts and paintings.  On the seventh floor is the huge Grand Bell of World Peace. It has only been rung once. On that occasion, the vibration shattered all the windows on that level!

My next stop is the Ratchadham Viriyaram Buddhist Temple for the afternoon mediation session.  I’ve been told that a huge piece of jade – 16 tons was found by a Buddhist monk.  He named it A Rock from Heaven and made arrangements to have it moved here in 1996.

Shambhala Retreat

I’m so excited – I’m leaving for the Juniper Hill Buddhist Retreat Centre for a Shambhala retreat!  So, what is it and why?  For me, going on a retreat is NOT getting away from it all.    No matter where we go our mind follows and whatever conflicts we have continues in our minds.  When we have no distractions everything becomes that much more vivid.  And that is one of the major reasons to go on retreat – to see the mind and how we perceive, think, react – all our mental and emotional processes and reality with absolute clarity.

What can happen when on retreat?

Spring Fling

Spring has finally arrived here; it’s wonderful to see the snow melting and the birds coming back.  I’ve decided to have a Spring Fling – no not THAT kind but a celebration of a new season, new beginnings and a chance for friends to reconnect after our long winter.  A few of my friends really dislike the winter and usually head south for warmer climes.  So, with that in mind planning has begun for the April get together.

There will be a smorgasbord of tasty tidbits to enjoy;  we all enjoy cooking so you never know what will appear, the band will be playing upstairs, a hike is planned up to the southern corner, C will be bringing some ATV’s over, and all the four legged friends have also been invited.

We will also have a spring cleansing and blessing.  If you’ve never done this before – here you go!  Enjoy.

In Memory of My Dad’s Birthday

If we are truly able to choose our parents for the lessons we need to learn in this lifetime, then I chose very well in having you as my Dad. I had the opportunity to tell you that I loved you many many times over those last few days. I will miss you and I will always carry you with me.  Nothing can ever take that away from me.

Over the years I have spent a great deal of time learning, understanding and forgiving others and also myself and standing in a place of gratitude. While I sat beside you Dad I understood that your only desire, all your life had been to feel loved.  I know that you did.

What a gift life is. It has given me the opportunity to love you and understand you. Life is too short to waste precious moments judging others and closing our hearts to the love that always surrounds us. As they say, we have two choices love or fear and only the love is real.

Your passing has brought David, Michael, Kathy and I even closer and I know that you would have liked that.  I love you Dad – smooth sailing!

Reconnecting

I have been totally amazed over the last week.  I had no idea so many “lost” friends have been following by blog.  So many of you have written to me offering support and encouragement after reading about my Dad’s passing.  It has had an incredible impact on me.  Thank you!

It has become clear to me that staying in touch with friends is important to me.  Since moving out here I’ve lost touch with some great people.  So, this weekend I decided to do something about it.  Early Saturday I headed to the St. Lawrence Market.  I love going there and often find myself eating my way thru the entire building – starting off with a huge sandwich from Carousel.  Even found some French butter for C!   Many years ago this was “my neighbourhood” and I found myself bombarded with memories – all good ones!  I was able to smile and laugh when I saw familiar stores and places in the area.  I left feeling full – both physically and spiritually.

Living Day By Day

Christians believe that St. Peter stands in front of heaven’s gate.  If he calls our name out we enter thru the gates.  They believe that we earn our place in heaven thru our actions here on earth – there are no guarantees that you will get in.

The ancient Egyptians believed that when you arrived in heaven after your death, you were asked two questions. Your answers to these two questions determined whether you were to enter heaven or not. The first question was, “Have you found joy in your life?” and the second question was, “Have you brought joy to others?”

In the teaching of the Buddha, all of us will pass away eventually as a part in the natural process of birth, old-age and death and that we should always keep in mind the impermanence of life.  The life that we all cherish and wish to hold on.

In Buddhism, however, death is not the end of life, it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life, but our spirit will still remain and seek out through the need of attachment, attachment to a new body and new life. Where they will be born is a result of the past and the accumulation of positive and negative action, and the resultant karma (cause and effect) is a result of one’s past actions.

This would lead to the person to be reborn in one of 6 realms which are; heaven, human beings, Asura, hungry ghost, animal and hell.  Realms, according to the severity of ones karmic actions, Buddhists believe however, none of these places are permanent and one does not remain in any place indefinitely. So we can say that in Buddhism, life does not end, merely goes on in other forms that are the result of accumulated karma. Buddhism is a belief that emphasizes the impermanence of lives, including all those beyond the present life.  With this in mind we should not fear death as it will lead to rebirth.